Impact.

Took him awhile to discover that the world is not a fact, it’s an experience. We cannot explain what rough is, or smooth, or sadness is, or happiness, or the way the wind feels. We have man made words for them. But there is a gap somewhere. An empty space between our words and how something feels. That empty space is filled with some divine presence. 

Maybe a divine presence of some categorical love that moves in all things.

What if energy, that divine force which we cannot explain, is fueled by it.  

When I feel joy, or comfort, it’s awful hard not to feel it to the greatest intensity. That’s the wonderful thing about being an emotional person. It can be a curse, but it can be a blessing.

God gave me intuitiveness and a desire to write. I don’t know what, but for some reason I always sound better on paper. Maybe I am not meant to be seen as much as to be read. Maybe…maybe that is why people always tell me I am deep. I can’t be “deep” for nothing. You know? There is a reason…glory glory there is always a reason.

Senior Year

I stopped caring about little things

I guess I got caught up in GPA averages

And smart universities

And the silly thing was

 I was not even doing that well

Not academically or you know

Socially

It felt like people were unreachable

I loved the way they loved

But I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t love too

Why they could laugh but I couldn’t

Then it became clear after reading poetry

After writing more

After eating a chunky monkey at 11 p.m.

And watching “The Secret Life of Bees” movie

That I just needed the me back that used to…

That used to taste the rain

That wrote as if it tasted just as good as food

Depth

I am sometimes the quiet girl in the corner, but my head is really spinning with things, one quick thought after another, and then finally someone says hello, and it comes out weird because I am still in my head space.

I really want to recieve people more, as in use the seven openings in my face.

You can look out at an ocean and see what you see on the surface. But there is so much depth to everyone. Myself, my friends, family, whoever is reading this. I will never know you as well as you or the Lord does.

I do not know why I get disappointed when people don’t see the depth in me. I just want to shake them and say “there is so much more to me than that comment I just made!” But you can’t.

But that is the real challenge, balancing who you are and how you present yourself.

I love learning

There is so much I want to do, so much I want to know. So much beauty, so much culture, so much unfinished business. But that won’t happen if I sit and do nothing about it.

aka: Printing out maps, memorizing capitals, learning about governments, Supreme Court cases, etc. Makes my head hurt, but it feels good.